Did you ever see the movie Se7en? Kevin Spacey and Brad Pitt
involved in what is arguably one of the most graphic and mind-fucking serial
killer/detective cat and mouse games to date. Good flick if you're into that
sort of thing. At the end of the movie as Kevin Spacey continues to be, well,
Kevin Spacey, Pitt goes off on this freak-out about a package. I don't want to
give out any spoilers in case you've been living under a rock or are 17 and
haven't seen this decade-old thriller, but suffice it to say that the
breath-holding and anxious tooth grinding I do when I watch that flick is
totally for naught every time I get to the scene at the end where Pitt asks
Spacey “What’s in the box?” over and over. Seriously, it’s just such horrible
acting. I actually get annoyed when I get to that part of the movie and I end up mad at myself for how bad it is.
*Update: I just checked IMDB because it’s important to check
facts before blabbing them on the internet, and Se7en came out in 1995. First,
that’s practically twenty years ago. Second… TWENTY YEARS AGO?? Why are the
things I love—namely music and movies in this case, and maybe some fashion here
and there—from the mid-90s time capsule? When I was a kid I used to roll my
eyes when my Pops would sing along with his classic rock station idols. My insatiable
need to impart my expansive knowledge of the 90s scene on my teenagers is some
sort of laughable penance I will apparently pay until Gwen Stefani is old
enough to have a solid gig singing on the Strip in Vegas.
Rabbit Cape |
Anyway, I found
myself in my own messed up version of that scene a few days ago. As you may
come to discover (and either love me, hate me, or find yourself totally
disgusted by me for), I am dabbling in taxidermy these days. I took Aspen and
Birch with me to select a pig from the farm to stock our freezer with recently.
What started as a simple drive with the Indie Children’s Pandora station on in
the background ended up a heated discussion on the subject of environmental ethics with my
three-year-old.
So cuuuuuuute! |
“Don’t tell your
friends you eat meat,” Birch warned me from the back seat as we drove out to
the country. “Why shouldn't I tell my friends I eat meat?” I wanted to know. "Why
do you even eat the animals?" he asked, "Don't you know they just have to stay in their
habitats? That is very important to the ecos [ecosystem]. And they are just so
cuuuuuuute." Some people complain
that their children will only eat McNuggets or hot dogs; Birch hasn’t knowingly
put meat in his mouth for twenty-nine months now.
The farmer was only slightly taken aback when I asked if it
would be possible for me to collect the head to try my hand at jarring a wet
specimen, but assured me I’d receive a call once the butcher had done the first
part of his job. Fast-forward to this afternoon to find me driving out to
collect the head of a pig, and then working in my garage at dusk with the
rolling door wide open to move the heavy bag into a Styrofoam cooler full of
ice until I’m ready to work on it. If my neighbors didn’t already find me
strange enough, they probably now find themselves lying in bed or peeking
through their blinds trying to get a glimpse of my garage floor, thinking of
the dripping, heavy trash bag they saw me carry from the van to the cooler and
wondering, “What’s in the box?”
2 comments
I love this.
Ahhh, Liz, that's because you don't live in my cul-de-sac and have to wonder what I'm up to.
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