Naming This Baby

Names. I’m sitting at home in my “office” with a hard cider, some music, a bag of blue corn chips and an entire bowl of guacamole. My house is empty save for one sleeping babe on the other side of the door, and I have this entire stormy night to myself to draft an amazing blog entry for my newest great idea. So per usual I’m toiling over some detail instead of producing the brilliant piece I imagined, sifting through dictionaries and thesauruses and searching terms like kickass blog name generator, gimme a good name, and what not to call your blog. Three of my precious Me hours whisked rapidly away into no one direction particularly, kind of like my trash cans in the intense wind storm happening just beyond the rickety rolling garage door. Errr, ummm, walls of my office. 

The only difference, of course, is that I will settle on a blog name eventually (ideally—and likely—before you read this) while I will probably never find my trash cans again. I suppose I’ll likely settle on a nice pair in the selection that will inevitably gather down at the end of the tortuously steep street I reside on so I guess that counts for something. My neighbors will curse me under their breath and call me names, but they will still appreciate that I have eggs whenever they need them. Life is obviously a very delicate balance.     

Names are so important. Blog names. What we name our pets. What we call our kids. Chosen name changes in the courts to signify a new future or to get away from an old past… The cards we play in the Name Game identify pieces of ourselves to those we encounter though they may never question or learn the significance behind a given selection. For example, Mr. Muffstache is not a dog I want licking my face; Shit on a Shingle never sounds like an appetizing answer coming out of my mouth when I’m prodded for the evening menu; and no matter what kind of pudding may be inside that can on the grocer’s shelf, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to eat Spotted Dick.

Hopefully you don’t find my blog name as repellent as something like SOS or Spotted Dick. If you do, it might be a good time to go ahead and leave because I can assure you it’s only going to be more of the same from here on out. If, however, you are among the more adventurous among your friends and family—either in the culinary realm or in life in general—this might be a fun place for you to visit regularly. You can’t change what I’m calling my blog, but feel free to save it under whatever name you choose in your bookmarks. 

UPDATE: I’ve decided on a name for the new baby.  It has been holding me up for days, but less than a week after leaping from the iOS platform to the Android one I was growing increasingly frustrated with my inability to move forward with the setup of all my newfangled gadgets and widgets due to my indecision and so I chose one that fits. I registered the new online spaces with the name a palpable paradox. Why? Well, that’s basically what every story I have to offer now and in the future is likely to be: something so raw, inspiring, true and seemingly absurd,  impossible or illogical that you can feel it confusing your marrow deep inside as you read it. I assure you every word is true according to me and my experience. 

How delightful!

No comments